Don't Worry, Be Happy

A friend of mine told me today that she's thinking of leaving her husband. She also told me that she's in love with someone else. The someone else isn't an "affair". They've openly been friends for about 6 months now and their feelings developed in response to both of them being immensely unhappy in their marriages and sympathizing with eachother. He's actively mistreated by his wife and she's been taken for granted by her husband and ignored for YEARS. Not quietly either. She's been telling him how unhappy she is for going on 6 years now, so when she confessed having feelings for another man, her husband wasn't surprised.

We had lunch together today and she dropped the bomb and told me everything. When she'd finished summing up this little bit of drama, she sighed and said, "I just don't know what to do. I'm so confused."

Happiness is a fickle creature. Or is it? Sometimes, we do what we think we should, even when that's not what we truely want. How often do you do things you don't want to, simply because you know someone will be mad at you or disappointed in you if you don't. For most people. it's all the time. Too many people stay in unhappy relationships because they're worried about what everyone will think if they leave.

I was married at 18. It was a collosal mistake of gargantuan perportions. Of course, in retrospect, had I not been there and done that, I'd have not been where I was when I met the love of my life. The life I happily live now hinged right off of the life I had and didn't want. It took one to make the other. It's this reasoning that makes me happy to have been everywhere I've been in my past. No regrets. Every road I took lead me here.

Anyway, when I left my husband, I lost my best friend of 10 years. He ran to her and gave her a sob story and because I'd always put on a happy face, she didn't even realize how unhappy our marriage was. My mother was also mad at me. "Marriage is forever!" she said. To this day I find it mildly disturbing that my own mother wanted me to remain miserable. The point is, no one was living my life. No one felt what I felt and thought what I thought. How could ANYONE presume they understood MY marriage? And that's what I told my friend today.

I've never liked her husband. It's really no secret either. He and I have always agreed to disagree and just stayed away from eachother. My feelings, however, are irrelevant. I told her that she deserves to be happy, no matter what that means. Everyone will think what they'll think... but do you really care so much that you're willing to be unhappy forever for THEM? I told her that she should stay and make it work if that's what she wants. She should leave if that's what she wants. What does he want? Who cares. What's her mother want? Who cares. You only get one shot at this life... and it's happening NOW. Don't cheat. Don't create trust issues because that will complicate everything, but be happy. Besides, just because you separate now doesn't mean you won't be together again. You don't know where this life is leading you, but if you stay stuck in an unhappy rut, how can you ever find out how happy you could be?

I believe in marriage. Not in the religious sense, because I don't believe in religion, but in the commitment. I love being married to my husband. We are committed to eachother. We support eachother and love eachother. If we were any closer, we'd be one person. Just the other day he came walking into the dining room in a stained work shirt. I couldn't tell if it was stained or dirty and I thought to myself, "I wonder if that's a dirty shirt? I wonder if it smells?" LOL. I no sooned completed that thought and he lifted the bottom up to his nose and sniffed it, then smiled coyly at me and said, "It's just stained."

That's the kind of connection we have. How good would that connection be if only one of us was comitted? Not very! It takes two to be comitted to a connection to make the connection complete. If one person is unhappy and the connection is incomplete, then what's the point?

I'm rambling, I know. :) My point is, be happy. It's your life and your feelings and your happiness. You choose. If you sit and look around at your life and don't like what you see, only you can change it. And if you're not moving in a direction that makes you feel good, then you need to rethink your travels. Sometimes drastic measures need to be taken and sometimes simple alterations make a world of difference. But it's up to you.

I Love a Snowy Night (Borrowed from Eddie Rabbit!)

Yesterday was the winter solstice here in the northern hemisphere. I celebrate the winter solstice as "New Years" basically. It's the shortest day of the year and acts sort of like the "New Moon" of the YEAR. I worked on planning out some intentions for the next year, but mostly I just spent the day being thankful with my family.

It was only like 15 degrees all day yesterday. There was a new, glittery blanket of snow just deep enough to cover the tips of the grass and thanks to a minor ice storm that blew through a couple days before, all of the tiniest limbs and biggest branches where coated in ice and sparkled so brightly, with such light, it almost seemed they were glowing from within. The wind whipped the dry grainy snow up into little frozen vortexes of white iridescence that danced in a pirouette from one end of my yard to the other. Through it all, the sun shone brightly, illuminating this day of fresh beginning and reflecting it's magnificence off every speck of my frozen wonderland making it almost too spectacular to behold.

"What a wonderful first day of winter", I thought. "It's so breathtaking, it's almost as though someone planned it this way." And I chuckled to myself :)

Today it is 10 degrees. The wind is gone, but the beautiful tree limbs remain. It has snowed about 3 feet in the last 11 hours. It continues to flutter to the ground in BIG, fat, lazily circling flakes. Still the sun shines.
There's been a number of gorgeous, colorful winter birds taking samples of the suet cakes that hang outside the picture window in my dining room. My warrior kitty, Patch, keeps launching herself into the window to catch the feathered visitors, but never succeeds at doing more than startling them into flight. I continue to giggle at her asking yet again, "Didja Getem?!?!" She just meows at me and resumes her place at my left foot. What a perfect start.

Winter is my favorite season, in case ya couldn't tell. LOL I always feel so overwhelmingly happy during the winter solstice. I think it's the new beginning... the fresh start. I looked back at the intentions I had for last year and BOY did I accomplish a LOT! The only things I didn't accomplish are things I'd lost focus on when my desires shifted to make room for new ideas. This year should be totally WILD! I'm REALLY looking forward to all the wonderful things that are headed my way!!

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Happy Winter Solstice!

Yesterday was the Winter Solstice.
The first day of winter.
The shortest day of the year.
The new beginning.

The Winter Solstice is like, the new moon for the whole year. It's a great time to set goals and create affirmations, mantras, vision boards or any other creative tool you find useful. If you are familiar with how to work with the Moon's energies, then you already know what I'm talking about.
If this is new to you, I'll explain.

When setting intentions, it's easiest to manifest working with the moon's light. At the New Moon (the day there's NO moon), write a new moon check or set your intentions another way. Work on vision boards or any other creative tools. Focus on your intentions as the moon waxes, or the light of the moon builds. This cycle peaks at the full moon.

Now the moon wanes. The light begins at the full moon and slowly recedes over the next 2 weeks. This isn't a good time for setting or working on intentions. Spend this time cleaning you house and your mind. Write in a gratitude journal and spend time being thankful for what you manifested during the previous 2 weeks and beyond. The end of this cycle is when the moon returns to new and all the light is gone. Then, we begin again.

The Winter Solstice is another natural cycle that works in the same way. The winter solstice marks the day of the year with the least amount of sun light. It's like the new moon of the YEAR. This is a wonderful day to plan and begin your creation. If you miss the exact day, don't worry. The winter solstice energies are present for up to 72 hours beyond the specific day.

This cycle will peak around June 20-23 on the first day of summer, which is the day when the light illuminates the day the longest. This is reminiscent of the full moon. From here, the day gets slowly shorter and the night gets progressively longer. The year wanes until the dark dominates again and we begin again.

I recommend you set your intentions according to the scale you're setting them on. When you set a new moon intention, set an intention you expect to see results on over the next 28-30 days. When you set a winter solstice intention, set an intention you expect to see results on over the next year. This is actually most likely where new year resolutions originated.

The strongest periods of creative energy is during the waxing moon from the winter solstice to the summer solstice because both light building cycles are working WITH you. The equinox in the spring and fall are the points where you should review you intentions and renew your focus upon them.

I don't claim to be an expert on this subject because, believe me, I'm not. I DO know, however, that people of all different religions, creeds, nationalities and belief systems have worked with the moon and solstices for millenia. Because of this fact, I decided to try it for myself. I was skeptical going in, but I noticed a marked difference in my manifestations when I consciously worked with the earths natural cycles. I now observe daily cycles, the monthly moon cycles, the seasonal cycles and the yearly cycles.

There is waxing and waning light and energy all through your life. Why not harness the energy and make it work for you!

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