Coming New Moon ~ Knowing What You Want

Namaste'!

The weather men are calling for SUNNY skies and 57 tomorrow, 75 Friday, 78 Saturday, 78 Sunday, and 73 Monday!!!

After all the cold rain we've been getting, I think this weekend will be the weekend that everything explodes into bright green growth. I absolutely ADORE this time of year. It's so clean and fresh and new and perfect. I'm going to be starting my landscaping this weekend. I can't wait to sit outside in the sunshine with dirt on my hands.

I know many of you write new moon checks and the new moon is coming up this Saturday.

Planting in the waxing moon has been shown to be very beneficial to plants, so I'm also looking extra forward to the new moon Saturday.

I've decided to develop a habit of working with a vision board at the new moon. The last 2 times I've poured some focus and creativity into a vision board, I got amazing results. I think I'll carve out some time, maybe Saturday and Sunday morning while I have my coffee, to think about and focus on what I'd like to manifest in the month to come. For me personally, focusing on intentions and goals in the morning works great. My brain isn't all cluttered up with daily activities. It's freshly rested and relaxed and wide open.

That's what it's all about, right? Knowing what you want and being able to actually identify it. We often find it much easier to identify what we don't want. Of course you know what you don't want to happen. It's the first thing we're taught and conditioned to think about.

We even gave it a name. Murphy's Law. If something can go wrong, it will.

Then we're taught to further over think it by planning AROUND what could possibly go wrong, and call it being prepared.

Do yourself a favor. The next time you catch yourself identifying what you don't want to happen, use your brain as the tool it was intended to be and allow the thought about what you don't want, to trigger you to identify it's counter... A.K.A. What you DO want to happen.

Just practicing this will help you reprogram your automatic thoughts. You know the thoughts I'm talking about too.
Eg. *This isn't going to work* *What if I can't do it?* *If that happens, I don't know what I'm going to do*

Even thoughts as normal and everyday as "Ugh, I hate doing laundry!"

This is one that I still slip on. I have to change that thought into what I WANT... cuz what I want sure ain't doing laundry! LOL I started to change this one by changing it to "I love crisp, clean, unwrinkled clothes!". That helped me to be SEEKING something instead of avoiding something. I will even go so far as to say "Today I am blessing my closet with an abundance of delightfully clean clothes!" I "Bless" my home as a whole and in it's parts and pieces often. This angle of thought is something I picked up from http://www.flylady.com/ (been hearing a lot about her lately too, oddly enough ;) By placing your focus happily on your task at hand, you are transferring positive, loving energy onto it. And in doing so, you're "Blessing" everything. It kinda shifts your perception a little and that little can be enough to start you on a roll.

There's always a way to express what you DO want. Your initial "Oh NO!" reaction is just your brain letting you know what you don't want. It's supposed to let you know. It's only doing it's job. You're the awareness behind the thought. You're the one running this show! If you take the brain's warning shots and then turn your focus to what you DO want and forget about what "might" happen, you'll begin to notice much more desirable outcomes. The Universe (A.K.A. God) can only give you what you ask for.

Take advantage of the new moon coming and set the tone for your month to come by thinking about and identifying what you want to see for yourself and in your life. Write a new moon check or work on a vision board or write a list or create new affirmations or whatever YOUR process is. And if you don't follow a practice... then this is the PERFECT time to start! Don't procrastinate! Take control of what shows up in your life by creating a monthly practice of identifying what you want and asking for it. We're in the growing light of spring and entering the growing light of the new moon... the energies around you are very conductive for creativity and growth.

Coming in Saturday's Waxing Edition E-zine:

• Featured Article: Finding Your Vision


• What's in My Recipe Box?: Grrreat for You Grrranola! Yum!


• Blog Spotlight


• Conscious Living Tip!


• Quotable Quotes


• And More!!

A Poem

My Attitude of Gratitude...
By El Baugher

Thank you for the sunshine bright
And night time dark and deep.

Thank you for the ones I love
And all the one's I meet.

Thank you for the leaves in fall
And flowers in the spring.

Thank you for the JOY inside
my heart that makes me sing!

Thank you for each trial I've faced
And all my lessons learned.

Thank you for the chance to love
And have that love returned.

Thank you for the thankfulness
That drives my life to bliss.

I can't imagine any life more wonderful than this.

My 30th Birthday!

Happy birthday to me :) Today, I am 30. April 5th, 1979~

I stopped identifying with my age when I turned 22. My whole life, I was always striving for the next number. The next turning point. The next bit of growth. I remember when I was 5 years old in kindergarten and I watched the 10/11 year old 5th graders walk through the school. They nearly looked like adults to me! I wanted to be THAT age!

When I was in 5th grade and ruling the school, I was SO excited to get up to 6th grade to be in the middle school. THOSE kids were SO cool.

Once in 6th grade, I was 12. TWELVE! Oh MY GOD, soooo nearly a teenager, I could just TASTE it. I would even, at times, refer to myself as a teenager to be immediately corrected by my mother. I was on the cusp of something HUGE! I just KNEW it! I mean, just LOOK at those high school kids! They're like, practically my mother's age (They actually WERE. When I was 12, My mother was only 26~) and they're just SO grown up.

All I could SEE was 16. That was the NUMBER! Once I was there... I'd be able to DRIVE! Mom says she doesn't know what I think I'm going to be driving but I don't care. *sigh* sixteeeeen.

Ugh. 16 is so... yuck. I'm mature enough to do whatever I want to. If I was just 18, this wouldn't suck so much. I could come and go and do whatever I wanted to whenever I wanted to. I can't wait until I'm there.

Eighteen is total bullshit! Now I'm old enough to work full time and live where I want and go into the army, but they won't let me DRINK! This is stupid! I guess it ain't illegal if ya don't get caught! (Ugh, yes that was me... I shoulda been kicked! LOL But everything then made me who I am now so I'm not going to complain!)

YEAH!!!! 21!!!! PARTY!!!! Once in a while.... on the weekends.... Have that husband and child at home now. Don't really WANT to go out much. Making a life.

Twenty Two~ I had like, a mini breakdown. I was under big time stress with the dissolving of my mother's marriage to her second husband. We spent the entire day of my birthday moving all her things out of their house and into her new second floor apartment. I was SO depressed ALLLLL day. All I could think was.... "Yep, finally got to 21... now what? Now 22. Where to from here? THIRTY! Now I understand *over the hill*. There WAS a hill! It was 21. It was up, up, up, up, BAM.... all down.

I was SO identified with that NUMBER. My husband has always said he's 19. He was 27 when we met. He said that he hit 19 years old and stopped aging internally. The rest is just biology. I thought that was funny and couldn't really believe that he truly didn't care how old he was. How could he NOT care?

Now I get it.

I am SO excited to be turning 30. I am so excited about where I am in my life and what I'm doing and what my life has been about up until now and the family I've raised and where I've come from and what I've learned. I really have an honest to goodness enthusiastic embrace on thirty. I never finished high school. I never went to college. I never even managed to get a G.E.D (General Equivalency Diploma) in place of my diploma. I found my husband when I was 19 and was a mother and had wanted more than anything to be a stay at home mom and homemaker.

Kevin was born when I was 20 and Kyle when I was 23. They're 2 years and 4 months apart.

Kevin is now 9. He has beautiful handwriting and loves to write stories. He loves anything artistic but especially drawing and he's VERY good at it. He gets straight A's every quarter and was awarded a perfect attendance award at school last year. So far this year (with 2 months left to go) he's only missed 1 day. He had a stomach bug. I'm so proud of him. We spent so much time with him when he was young. He was with ME or SCOTT. That was it. We talked to him so much that when he turned 2, he could speak clearly and hold his end of an animated conversation with an adult. People were blown away by Kevin. Even people that didn't like kids liked Kevin.

Kyle will be 7 in thirteen days on April 18th. He was a much quieter type. Shy and sweet. Didn't really talk much until he was about 3. He knew HOW and could speak clearly.... he was just content to sit quietly and play with his cars on the floor. He's STILL that way. But at 2, he was adding. He's my number kid. Right now, he's in first grade and he can complete Kevin's 3rd grade math homework and in less time by HALF to Kevin pure discontent.

I'm always telling Kevin that he has his OWN amazing traits. Whatever you're good at, you're good at. That doesn't mean you give up on everything else, but play to your strengths! That's why you HAVE strengths! They'll lead you. Talent isn't accidental. And stop measuring yourself against where anyone else is! You are the only you there is and no one else could possibly ever be exactly where you are at any given time, so stop making it sound like you should be somewhere you're not.

My husband, Scott... The most wonderfully cheerful and respectful and laid back man I've ever had the great pleasure of meeting. I was always a superficial, gossipy type person. Always worried about what everyone else thought. He was this laid back, happy guy who just kinda went with the flow. If someone didn't like him, he didn't care. If someone had a problem with something he was doing in his life, he didn't care. The irony is, until I met him, I'd always been kind of searching for God, and it was through meeting him that I found what I was looking for. He was very anti-religion when we met and nearly denied the existence of any kind of God or higher power.

So... now Scott is in agreement with me on how God exists and what God actually is. We simply agree to not use the "G" word because he doesn't like it. If the only thing he can't get past is the word, I can accept and work with that! I'm more in love with him every day (for 11 years this August!!). I couldn't be more happily married. It just couldn't be possible. The two of us have made this wonderful home together and we're raising these interesting, smart, happy, conscious little boys.

I live a healthy life where whole grains and fruits and veggies abound. I have to most awesome dog in the world, which is a big deal as I don't like dogs. Charlie is the K-9 love of my life. We get lots of exercise together daily. I have 2 beautiful cats that I adore. We are all just one big happy family here.

Right now (I'll be blogging about it soon!) we're starting a remodel in our home. I'll be getting my "Master's Suite" finally and I'm SO super excited. I've been working on it for the past 2 days.

I really love where I am in my life. Every morning I wake up excited at what the day might bring. At the rate things are moving, my 30's might be even better than my 20's! I'm 30! Wow! I think the most important lesson I learned in my 20's is... No matter what, keep moving forward. If you dwell on the past, you'll only get stuck there. Forgive, forget, move on.

I hope you're loving your life! I know I sure am!

The Link Between Cleanliness & Godliness

~ A wonderfully wise contributor to an LOA forum I'm a member of said in one of her posts ~

"LOA exercises are not rocket science. Be a little imaginative & most
of all consistent.
But the bottom line is this: You can do all the
prosperity exercises & affirmations, but if you are roaming around
in sweat pants, unkempt hair, cluttered home .. you are negating the
prosperous vibes. Every moment of your life should represent abundance ..
tidy home, nice decor (whatever you can afford & surround yourself with),
neat appearance etc. etc."

I love the part about sweat pants and an unkempt home!

I don't think a lot of people realize what their immediate surroundings and personal appearance contribute to their mental/emotional well being and vibration. I've always been a touch to the lazy side myself. I call my home, "lived in" because that best describes it. Not UN clean, but even though I'm a homemaker who doesn't work outside of my home, I can't bring myself to clean the way society dictates that I'm SUPPOSED to.

Don't get me wrong. If someone called me and said, "I'll be there in 15 minutes!", I could totally whip the living areas (living room, dining room & kitchen *all connected at my house*) into company presentable shape, but there is dust bunnies in the corners and MAN do my ceiling fans need cleaned. Anyway.... yes, I am going to make a point lol... I used to be worse.

Back in the beginning of my Law of Attraction and Spiritual discoveries, I was searching online for tips on organization because I was feeling very overwhelmed in my messy state of living.

I found Fly Lady.

Fly Lady helped me to find some semblance of order in my surroundings. Over the years, I've worked on being more organized and clutter free and clean..... but also on accepting myself as I am and only moving toward change when I was doing it simply in the pursuit of joy. In other words.... I worked on training my habits into a more organized way of being.... but only because I knew I would find relaxation and joy in the organized cleanliness.

I'd always cleaned because it's messy AGAIN and no one else is picking it up and *martyr* complain* whine* resist*. Now I clean because I want to bless my home. I want to cast a spell of organized peace and spiritual free flow on my home. I want to create, in my home, a space for all the wonderfully positive energies of the Universe to channel into my life and permeate the physical space that I hold sacred and personal.

It sure changes the way you feel about cleaning when you shift your perception on it. I know I've mentioned this before, but I also LOVE to "clean to the tune of gratitude". This is when, say, as I vacuum the carpet.... I embrace thankfulness for the abundance of shoes that we own that brought all the dirt in and the wonderful little feet that occupied some of those shoes!.... and my most awesome dog, Charlie... who is the best dog I've ever met in my life... he tracks a lot of that dirt in and I couldn't be happier that he does... He brings such light into my life.. he can track in all the dirt he wants to!... and the MAN.. the gratitude I feel in my heart for the man who tracks grease onto my carpet when he comes back home to me at night is enough to reduce me to tears if I focus fully upon it.

I WANT to clean my house! It's like walking around and taking stock of all the amazing abundance that I have in my life. When I've finished cleaning and I sit down and look around... I feel more bliss than I can express.

I'm just not a perfectionist. There are things on my table and dishes on the counter and there's a towel on the bathroom floor and shoes strewn about the front door and I REALLY need to vacuum. These things used to cause me stress. They were just more crap I had to do. A source of stress because I felt like I wasn't good enough because I couldn't seem to manage to stay on top of these things.

Now, I'm thankful that we can afford the pile of shoes and I give them away to anyone who needs them when my kids grow out of them (they grow so darn fast at times, I've given away nearly new shoes!). If there's a pile of clothes that needs folded, I don't worry about it... but I focus on how blessed we are to have them all and that I even own a washer and dryer to get them all clean and how I was able to give away my old dryer when we moved here because it was gas and we needed an electric, so we were able to buy a brand new electric one and blessed someone elses home with a nearly new gas dryer that they needed.

SO ANYWAY..... (I know I'm long winded... it's endearing... love me for it! lol)...

And the sweat pants... While being vain may not be the best... it does help one much to look at themselves in the mirror with acceptance and affection and appreciation. This is easier to do if you maintain an appearance that is pleasing to you. You know when you look good. You also know that when you feel like you LOOK good... it boosts your self confidence. You are the MASTER of your Universe. And whether you create strong, confident, joy filled WIZARD or meek, weak willed, self deprecating couch potato can very easily stem from your appearance and how the way you see yourself makes you feel. Fly Lady also covers this a bit.

I'm not saying I got ALL of this from Fly Lady.... but it was a jumping off point for me.

Her site is mainly about how not everyone was born organized and how the rest of us who struggle with our organizational skills can keep up and feel good about it. She has a yahoo group but it's not a discussion group. It's an email reminder mailing that comes throughout the day to help you in your quest for peace and lack of clutter.

If anyone has trouble with keeping their home de-cluttered or organizational skills I very highly recommend this site. http://flylady.com/ If you look around your house and don't like what you see... you are not alone... everybody's houses don't look as clean as the ones on tv either LOL.

But the way you feel about your surroundings could easily block your conscious LOA success. I don't subscribe to fly lady anymore... I simply don't need to anymore... but she really did help me... and I KNOW that my home was a spot that was blocking my progress because as soon as I got a handle on it...and got a handle on how I FELT about it by shifting my perception on it a bit... It all started flowing a LOT easier for me.

Now I'm manifesting rather quickly. I've been pretty happy with myself and my manifestations in the last few days partly because I'm manifesting very cool things but mostly because they're on a larger scale than my norm and they're manifesting at a speed that's really got me struck speechless..lol (I know... ME.. speechless... what are the chances!?!) BUT.. that's a whole different post...

Day Spa Monday

This came up in a Law of Attraction group I am part of and I wanted to write about it a little.



I believe the #1 best thing you can do for yourself and the people around you is to love yourself. A lot of people hate themselves. A lot of people think that they're pretty ok. I want you to feel like no one on the planet is more important than YOU!



"But isn't that a little self centered?" I can hear you ask. And yeah, it pretty much is.



Now, I'm not saying... go out and do rotten things to other people because there's no one on the planet more important than you. I think that if you've found this blog and you're reading this post, then you likely already know that's not what I mean. But there's an ancient wisdom that says; You cannot give away that which you do not have and you can't have that which you do not give away.



So, I have created "Day Spa Monday". This is something I do for myself because I can. Because I should. Because I deserve it. Because I love ME. It also helps me to cultivate stillness and peace in myself. It fills me with a loving, peaceful, happy energy that I am able to give away to others, because the energy I gain during Day Spa Monday is lovingly transferred to my family and pets. How could me feeling happy and peaceful and relaxed and spiritually uplifted in any possible way be a BAD thing for anyone?



Day Spa Monday starts like any other day. Get the kids up and fed and off to school. Get the man up and fed and off to work. Charlie Dog and I go for a 2 mile walk and when we get back, I whip out the juicer and make some fresh carrot/celery/apple/ spinach juice! YUM! Then instead of starting chores or running off somewhere, I go run a hot bath. I wash my face and put on a mint mud facial and soak.



I meditate while I soak. I'm usually in there for a good 45 minutes before the water cools enough to take my attention. I wash up and get out. Then I go to my room and slather some thick, conditioning lotion all over myself.



After that, I used to go find the couch with some lunch and watch a movie, but I've recently decided that juice fasting is going to be part of Day Spa Monday for me. So right now, as I type this, I'm having some more fresh juice and I'm about to go watch a film about learning Reiki.



So that's Day Spa Monday..... My self love and attention. I deserve it and everyone benefits.



What do YOU do for self love and attention? How do you get back to yourself and shake off the excess energies of the world that you don't need?

Good Morning!

You Are Not What You Do!

I sat down and watched one of my FAVORITE movies this morning and it inspired me to write. What is this wonderfully inspiring movie you ask? Why, Pretty Woman of course :)

How did this movie inspire me? It occurred to me toward the very end that, as the viewer, one can't help but love "Vivian", the character played by Julia Roberts. Typically, most people would pre-judge this woman in real life and strive to NOT like her. I mean, seriously... she's a HOOKER! What kind of disgusting person goes out into the world and has sex for money?! Now, be honest... isn't that exactly what you would probably think if you were faced with her?

Yet, as we watch the movie, we're drawn in. We hear about where she came from and how she got to be where she is. We get to know her and find her humor amusing and her personality delightful. We LIKE her and sincerely hope that "Edward", Richard Geere's character (Hubba Hubba), falls in love with her just like we see her falling in love with him.

Why is it so much easier to suspend judgement and just observe when we're watching a movie, as opposed to when it's real life? Is it because in a movie, we know the characters aren't real? They're just people acting out a script and playing characters because THAT'S the role they're there to play.

In truth, isn't that what we're all actually here, on this planet, at this time and space, to do? To play out the characters we've come here to play? Every religion agrees that there is more. This isn't all there is. To the contrary, this is minuscule in comparison to where we REALLY come from and where we return to when this "movie" of our life is finished.

You are NOT what you do!

How could you be? Are you perfect? Have you never done anything you regret? Heck, most people that do "unsavory" thing only do them because they don't realize they have a choice, or they just can't see a way out. The things we do are there to teach us. Even if all they seem to teach us is that we don't want to do them. Inside every "wrong doer" is a perfect, divine spark of God simply trying to find it's way back.

When you encounter someone whom you don't agree with or whom you find distasteful, suspend your judgements and just watch the movie. You never know... maybe YOU will be the spark that lights the path for them to find their way back.

Namaste :)

Validation

Someone in a forum I'm a member of posted this youtube video. By far one of the coolest things I've seen in a long time. I hope you all enjoy :)

I Am So In Love & Grateful

Hello Friends!

Yesterday was one official week that our new dog Charlie, that I rescued from the APL, has been here with us. I am so (as the title suggests!) in love with this dog.

As a rule, I hate dogs. I've never met a dog that I liked for more than 10 minutes. I'm an animal lover in general, so I'm very kind and gentle with ALL animals, but dogs just rub me the wrong way. You can't stand in front of one without having your private areas totally explored.... most dogs you can't pet without being licked to death (I can't STAND being licked by a dog!).... they jump all over you, no matter what's on their feet.... they bark at EVERYTHING and always start when you want them to be quiet most... they get excited and pee.... you can't pet a MALE dog too much without finding out just how much he likes it.... I'm just not a dog person and I never have been. I love cats. I have 2.

If I don't like dogs... why on EARTH did I go looking for one?!?!

The truth is, lately, I've found myself feeling unbearably lonely. The kids go off to school.... Hubby goes off to work.... and here I am.. alone. There are multiple reasons that I'm not going to go into for me being unable to get a job. I've wanted to find a job for a couple years now, but the main reason I don't is because my family demands so much from me, that I WILLINGLY give, that I can't see me splitting my time like that. But still, I'm lonely.

I don't have any friends that are home during the day that I can spend time with and the loneliness I've been feeling has been getting heavier and heavier on my heart. I decided, out of desperation really, that I wanted a dog. A specific dog. A beagle. An adult beagle that doesn't lick or invade my personal privacy every time I'm within reach. One that doesn't lick excessively or chew things or bark. One that will get along with my 2 cats, and one that my 2 cats can tolerate. My cats are very "Queen of the House!" type cats. As a rule, they don't like other animals. We've fostered other dogs and we've had other cats and both of my girls are very hissy and unfriendly towards them.

Then (as I wrote about previously) about 1 week after I decided I wanted this specific dog... on 1/11, on the full moon.... the signs seemed pretty big to me... and I went to the A.P.L and there, in cage #11 was a 4 year old beagle named Copper (the name of one of our previous dogs). The only thing that I wanted that he didn't fulfill is that I'd wanted a female, simply because girls don't do that THING that boy dogs do when ya scratch their bellies, wink wink. But this dog was neutered and they told me he shouldn't do that thing.

So here we are, one full week later. Well, one week not counting the 4 days he spent on the run (See the "Everything Happens For a Reason" post). One full week from the day we got him back. I can't believe how PERFECT he is. If you'd told me a month ago that I would get a dog and love him so completely, I wouldn't have believed it.

We walk 1 mile, 2 times a day together. He hangs out on the couch with me and watches TV. He only barks when he has to go out. He's gentle and loving, yet playful and funny. He loves riding in the van and I take him everywhere with me. The kids love him, my Husband loves him, and believe it or not (I still don't quite believe it and I definitely don't understand it) my cats take no issue with him. He sniffs them and plays with them a little. They'll hiss if he starts to get rough and they feel threatened, but honest to GOD.... they don't even seem to care that he's here. I'd have never believed it if I wasn't seeing it with my own eyes.

It's things like this that happen to me that continue to reinforce my belief in the law of attraction... or really, intention/manifestation. I didn't focus on anything... I didn't obsess or visualize or go to any great lengths to find this unbearably perfect dog. I just decided that I wanted a dog and what I wanted him to be and HOW I wanted him to be. I prayed and asked for him, intended to have him and then I told my Hubby, in these exact words... "I've decided to allow a dog to come into my life so I can love him." One week later, he was here. And one week after that, I couldn't love him more.

So, that's my latest success story. I see minor things happen so constantly I don't even notice them anymore at times, but this was HUGE for me. I'm still in awe.

Happy manifesting :)

Deepak Chopra: The Happiness Prescription

See at Amazon!
I ordered this movie (seminar, talk..) from Netflix like, a week or so ago. I've been meaning to watch it, but life just gets away with me sometimes. I've had a sick boy home from school all week this week and that brings life to a screeching halt. Yesterday, while he was napping peacefully (FINALLY!), I remembered I had that DVD to watch, so I hunkered down on the couch and let 'er rip.

What a wonderful DVD! It's a 2 disc set, and I only have disc 1, so I'm sending away for the other half today, but I'm so glad I finally sat down to watch it.

It can be frustrating for me at times, to find LOA and Spirituality related things to watch and read that aren't the same old stuff I've already watched and read. Although, I would have to admit, some of the biggest and most profound shifts in consciousness I've experienced came from hearing things I've heard a billion times already. Sometimes I'm aware of things on an intellectual basis but then I hear it again one day and it just resonates deeper for me. I've had some pretty spectacular "Ah-Ha!" moments from things that are painfully obvious. It just hits me different. But, it's like that old saying.... When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. When you are primed and ready for the shift, it'll happen.

I really enjoyed this DVD. I love listening to Deepak talk. I enjoy the audio books that he narrarates too. In this DVD, he's giving a seminar type talk to a smallish audience. Then at the end, there's a question and answer portion. Some of it was the same ol' info, but some of it was very deep. I had a couple "Ah-Ha!" moments while I was watching. He talks about what happiness really means and how to acheive it. It was truly fantastic.

It seemed to conclude at the end, so I'm very curious what's on the second disc. I'll post and let you all know when it gets here. I won't put off watching the second disc as long as I did this one! LOL I'm REALLY looking forward to watching it.

Don't Worry, Be Happy

A friend of mine told me today that she's thinking of leaving her husband. She also told me that she's in love with someone else. The someone else isn't an "affair". They've openly been friends for about 6 months now and their feelings developed in response to both of them being immensely unhappy in their marriages and sympathizing with eachother. He's actively mistreated by his wife and she's been taken for granted by her husband and ignored for YEARS. Not quietly either. She's been telling him how unhappy she is for going on 6 years now, so when she confessed having feelings for another man, her husband wasn't surprised.

We had lunch together today and she dropped the bomb and told me everything. When she'd finished summing up this little bit of drama, she sighed and said, "I just don't know what to do. I'm so confused."

Happiness is a fickle creature. Or is it? Sometimes, we do what we think we should, even when that's not what we truely want. How often do you do things you don't want to, simply because you know someone will be mad at you or disappointed in you if you don't. For most people. it's all the time. Too many people stay in unhappy relationships because they're worried about what everyone will think if they leave.

I was married at 18. It was a collosal mistake of gargantuan perportions. Of course, in retrospect, had I not been there and done that, I'd have not been where I was when I met the love of my life. The life I happily live now hinged right off of the life I had and didn't want. It took one to make the other. It's this reasoning that makes me happy to have been everywhere I've been in my past. No regrets. Every road I took lead me here.

Anyway, when I left my husband, I lost my best friend of 10 years. He ran to her and gave her a sob story and because I'd always put on a happy face, she didn't even realize how unhappy our marriage was. My mother was also mad at me. "Marriage is forever!" she said. To this day I find it mildly disturbing that my own mother wanted me to remain miserable. The point is, no one was living my life. No one felt what I felt and thought what I thought. How could ANYONE presume they understood MY marriage? And that's what I told my friend today.

I've never liked her husband. It's really no secret either. He and I have always agreed to disagree and just stayed away from eachother. My feelings, however, are irrelevant. I told her that she deserves to be happy, no matter what that means. Everyone will think what they'll think... but do you really care so much that you're willing to be unhappy forever for THEM? I told her that she should stay and make it work if that's what she wants. She should leave if that's what she wants. What does he want? Who cares. What's her mother want? Who cares. You only get one shot at this life... and it's happening NOW. Don't cheat. Don't create trust issues because that will complicate everything, but be happy. Besides, just because you separate now doesn't mean you won't be together again. You don't know where this life is leading you, but if you stay stuck in an unhappy rut, how can you ever find out how happy you could be?

I believe in marriage. Not in the religious sense, because I don't believe in religion, but in the commitment. I love being married to my husband. We are committed to eachother. We support eachother and love eachother. If we were any closer, we'd be one person. Just the other day he came walking into the dining room in a stained work shirt. I couldn't tell if it was stained or dirty and I thought to myself, "I wonder if that's a dirty shirt? I wonder if it smells?" LOL. I no sooned completed that thought and he lifted the bottom up to his nose and sniffed it, then smiled coyly at me and said, "It's just stained."

That's the kind of connection we have. How good would that connection be if only one of us was comitted? Not very! It takes two to be comitted to a connection to make the connection complete. If one person is unhappy and the connection is incomplete, then what's the point?

I'm rambling, I know. :) My point is, be happy. It's your life and your feelings and your happiness. You choose. If you sit and look around at your life and don't like what you see, only you can change it. And if you're not moving in a direction that makes you feel good, then you need to rethink your travels. Sometimes drastic measures need to be taken and sometimes simple alterations make a world of difference. But it's up to you.