Who chooses your happiness?
In America, we have the "American Dream". That used to mean that you came to America with your own dreams and ideas and desires and because America is the land of the free, you could live out your dream. Now, when you say "American Dream" people automatically see a house in the burbs, the spouse, kids, career, white picket fence etc. I'm not saying this isn't a good dream, but I do believe that lots of people remain unhappy because they're busy trying to live up to what other people think "happy" looks like. And then when they have the "American Dream" they're still unhappy and don't understand why.(Insert mid-life crisis here.) Or worse, they don't have what they think they want and their life is unhappy because they can't see that they are already whole and in possession of everything they need to be happy.
I used to be unhappy in my marriage. I deserved what I deserved and he wasn't living up to my expectations. Then one day, shortly after I began my conscious living, I got angry with him and instead of allowing my anger to flare, I began to analyze my expectations instead of analyzing why he wouldn't live up to them.
What I found changed my life.
I was unhappy because other people said I was. My husband wasn't living up to unrealistic standards imposed on him by other people. There's a certain way that I thought he had to behave if he loved me, but I was so busy focusing on what he wasn't doing, I was completely missing the things he WAS doing. The word "romantic" is a cliche' in my opinion. You think that word, you have a specific list of things that comes to mind because movies and music and books have told us forever that, that's what we should be doing and expecting.
What do you want?
Do you want to get married because you think you're supposed to? Do you want a career because you think that's what you're supposed to want?
The questions get bigger!
Do you stay unhappy in a marriage that's going nowhere because other people think you shouldn't divorce?
They're everywhere.
Do you wonder why you have things that you thought would make you happy, but find that you still feel like you're lacking?
Are you afraid that if you do what will truly make YOU happy, you'll be disappointing people that you love? Do you think that the people you love want you to be unhappy? Of course you don't. But I bet you DO think that it'll affect the way they feel about YOU if you assert yourself and do what you want if it's not what they think you should do.
But, I have a much more important question for you. Who is it that lives inside your body with your thoughts and ideas and life? Who has to make your choices and live with the results? Well, of course that would be YOU. And not anyone else. Besides, maybe one of THEIR life lessons is to learn to accept other peoples choices in their own lives and still be supportive, AKA: unconditional love. A lesson we all have to learn.
The way I feel about what family and friends think of me changed when I stopped feeling so attached to them. Yes they are my blood. Yes they are close to me. But they're also a manifestation of the very same spirit that is ME. It's like I'm learning lessons by interacting with myself. If they have negative thoughts about what I'm doing in my life, it's because THEY have issues to sort through and lessons to learn of their own. I love them and want them to feel as wonderful and happy as I am, so far be it from me to take away their lessons they need to learn to break through their self imposed limitations by acting in a way that's not true to myself in an effort to placate their irrational requirements of me.
A wonderful quote I've gotten in my inbox recently that REALLY resonated with me is:
"When you think about other people and what they think of you, do you understand that what they think of you has very little to do with what you are? It has mostly to do with the habits of thought that they have developed. It has more to do with them as thinkers than it does with you as the subject of their thought." Abraham-Hicks
Live your dreams! Don't worry about what anyone else thinks of you and your life, and don't aspire to something simply because society says that's what you SHOULD want. You can't mess up your life. You're here to do whatever you want to... so do.. want... and expand. This is the only way to really live. You can't love your life by living it for someone else. Let them live their own lives and learn their own lessons. Don't make it harder on them by reaffirming their illusions with your actions. When we all turn our focus solely on our own happiness and stop imposing our ideas of happiness on others, we will all have peace and the human power struggle will end.
Peace Be With You.
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Written By: El Baugher
http://TheSmilingSpirit.com - Law of Attraction, Conscious Living & Loving Life!
