Self Hatred

Happy Tuesday Everyone!

I've had something on my mind for a few days now, so I guess it's time to write.

I'm not going to write a three mile post about self hatred, but WOW do a LOT of people think very little of themselves. I listened to someone very close to me argue a point of view the other day and she was SO very negative in her opinion. But the funny thing is, the group she was classifying as the WRONG ones is the group she falls into. She considers herself morally wrong. There's something wrong with her.

How can anyone hold such negative opinions of themselves and constantly berate themselves mentally, but then look around at their life and wonder why it's so awful?! You have to accept you for you. You are exactly who you're supposed to be. And when you grow and change into who you will become, you will STILL be exactly who you are supposed to be. You are as good as you can be for where you've come from and what you've been through. And no one, having been through the exact same things as you, could have turned out any better than you've managed to turn out.

If you were sitting in for your ideal best friend, you'd tell you how you did what you had to and you did the best you could with the knowledge you had at the time... which leads me into my second point. I think most people are 100% nicer to other people than they are to themselves. Even people who come off egotistic or shallow hate themselves. They seem full of themselves because they're over compensating for what they feel they're lacking.

Many of you already know that my Spiritual journey became much more intense in the past year because of my choice to live consciously and in balance with myself. I've lost 35 pounds, changed my diet, my health and my life. I truly believe that Spiritual things started flowing because I started to love and respect myself. I stopped talkin shit to myself. I supported my thoughts and ideas and stopped being so negative all the time.

You are your greatest ally in this life. Love yourself. Make time for yourself. Don't do so much for other people that you don't do for yourself. You bring more to the table with a refreshed Spirit that you do with a stressed out, self deprecated, anxiety ridden Spirit. In the spirit of this theme, I've become a poet yet again. I'm sorry, it rhymes. LOL Deal with it!

Love, Me

I am my best friend you see.
No one loves me more than me.

When I make a mistake, I forgive and understand.
I always offer me a helping hand.

Whenever I find me feeling scared and alone,
I assure me that I'm here and remind me how much I've grown.

I don't put me down or tell me I'm bad
I tell me I'm great and I love me like mad.

The very first step to a life of joy with no end,
Is to turn love onto yourself, and be your own best friend.

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What is Living Consciously?

Living a conscious life is part of the spiritual journey I am on. You can't really use the laws of the Universe to your advantage without becoming intensely self aware.

The media dramatizes everything for the shock effect and I believe it's highly important to be conscious of what you're doing in your own life, instead of taking someone else's word for it. I'm not a conspiracy theorist, but the bottom line in this world of unconsciousness is money. Our own government is trying to knowingly POISON us currently. How? Have you seen the commercials for how healthy high fructose corn syrup is?! The first time I saw one of these ridiculous commercials, I nearly fell out of my chair. Anything for the almighty dollar.

Well.... I choose not to participate in the unconscious, frantic, consumer driven, stress filled, holographic existence that the rest of the world calls life.
Here's some examples of how I "live consciously".

My kids were never vaccinated. It's a BS rumor that they can't go to school without them. Back in the 1930s when we started vaccinating our children, the instances of autism went up by 36% and has risen to a current day count of 1 in 150 births. I did the research and read the articles and made the conscious choice to NOT poison my children to try to protect them against diseases that rarely even exist in this day and age.

I don't believe in diets. I believe in fueling my body with good food. I still eat junk food or hit the drive thru, but it's not a regular part of my life. I don't want to be tired all the time. I don't want to gain excessive weight. I want to eat and feel energized from it, not lethargic and bloated. I'm not a vegetarian, but I don't eat a lot of meat. I try to make my diet about 60% produce, 30% grains and 10% meat. I ended up at this balance by researching for myself and making informed decisions. My body's balance is best at this ratio. I'm also a chronic nutrition label reader.

I get regular exercise. I want my bones to have the density building benefit of weight lifting and the supportive benefit of being encased in strong muscles. I believe it's very important to my overall health to be strong and flexible. I love practicing yoga. Never have I been so sweaty and exhausted without ever having lost my breath. I don't want to be one of those little old ladies with a giant hump across their shoulders. I practice sitting up straight and building core strength to hold my posture. I would also have to say that it was through regular exercise and learning to respect and love my body that I made some of my biggest most life changing spiritual leaps. I believe regular exercise is just imperative.

I avoid doctors. I'm not neglectful, but seeing a doctor is a last resort in my home. When my kids get sick, I take care of them. If someones ear hurts, I put some peroxide in it. Doing that a couple times always clears up an earache in no time. Our country has more doctors and medicine than any other country in the world.... yet we're the sickest bunch of people. The country is obsessed with it's health and weight... and we're all fat and unhealthy... and everyone's on medications for maladies that could be easily resolved if they only respected their lives and bodies. Most doctors want to throw medications at symptoms until you're too doped up to notice you don't feel well. I avoid medications, prescription and non... doctor's offices, and here's a big one.... antibiotics!! I mean, I'm not a total idiot. I know sometimes an antibiotic is imperative, but usually, it's not. Doctors aren't perfect and all knowing. That's why what they do is called a "practice". They went to school, and yes, they know a lot.... but I trust myself first.

I also try to be ever conscious of my energy. I believe it's important that I take responsibility for the energy that I carry around. Have ya ever been around someone and been almost uncomfortable because they were floating in such bad vibes. Maybe they're worrying about something or maybe they're preoccupied but they seem tense and unfocused and that kind of energy affects everyone around them. I try to always be aware of the effect I will have on those around me. In the Energy Soup we live in together, you leave an impression of your energy on everyone you meet. I strive to be conscious of the impression I leave behind.

There are countless examples of living consciously, but it all comes down to consciousness. My life used to be like a dream. There I was, in my dream life thinking of ME and THEM..... then I realized that ME and THEM are really just.... I. I'm not ME and I'm not THEM.... I'm the one observing it all. Once I became conscious of the dream, I became lucid and took control. I can no longer be herded like sheep. I choose. It's MY dream and I have the power to choose for myself.

Everyone has the power to take responsibility for their own lives. All it requires is a desire to be the best you that you can be.

Full Moon 10-14-2008

Visit my homepage at The Smiling Spirit