Lead Your Authentic Life

In light of my recent anniversary, I've been thinking about the appreciation I have for everything in my life. I've been writing a lot in my gratitude journal and I feel as though I almost can't say ENOUGH about how blessed I feel to be here, on this planet, with this body, and this life, at this time in human evolution. It's all so perfect, I can't imagine it being any other way.

Yesterday, as I was lost in thought about the way I've chosen to live my life, it occurred to me; What would it be like if I felt that I could only embrace my existence if I found "happiness" as it's defined by society and the world around me? And as soon as this question entered my head, I realized; I used to live exactly that way. I was raised that way. My mother is that way. Most of the people around me are that way. That's why so many people are so terribly unhappy!

I know I've had some pretty major shifts in my perceptions of the world around me throughout this incredible spiritual journey I've been on. And it always seems that whenever a shift happens, it's always something I've always known or read or heard, but I will just suddenly see it with new eyes. I also, with the new eyes, see it so much deeper. I'll just suddenly be hit out of nowhere with an old concept, but instead of just hearing it on an intellectual level, I can sometime actually FEEL the resonance of the truth it leaves within my energy field. That's the effect Abraham-Hicks has on me when I watch Abraham speak on video. I literally FEEL my vibration rise. It makes me all tingly and light feeling. I love it. It's like getting a hug from an angel.

ANYWAY! I remember a time in my marriage that I was unhappy. I was only 19 years old when I found this man. He was 27. We've both changed into completely different people since we've been together. That happens. People age and grow and change. It's part of the beauty of life. We've been fortunate enough to have changed and grown closer together instead of away from each other. It wasn't always this way.

My Hubby is NOT romantic. Hardly a romantic bone in his whole darn body. There was a time that I thought that that was the only way I would feel his love and had a very hard time accepting his lack of romanticism. There was no flowers, notes, dinners, surprises, jewelry, gifts, professions of never ending love.... none of that. Picture a romantic comedy. That was the opposite of us. We were more like a tv sitcom, where the husband can't do anything right and the wife whines about everything. Only on sitcoms, when the wife is pissed at the dumb husband for forgetting their anniversary, the dumb husband runs out and buys her lots of stuff to make up for how dumb he is. Mine didn't even do THAT part.

"I guess he doesn't love me", I thought.

But I didn't get these ideas on my own. I've got my mother in my ear telling me what he SHOULD be doing for me and how I shouldn't let anyone treat me this way, yadda yadda yadda. And I've got friends that expect "BLA BLA BLA" from their boyfriends or he'll be "kicked to the curb". And of course there IS the romantic comedy. Movies made to show you what a "happy" life looks like. And I've got all the books I read where men are all these romantic, perfect partners. Romantic, perfect partners..... Huh? Wait a minute. Romantic..... Perfect..... Those words are the same thing. When you picture what you find "romantic" it makes you feel love, and it's your perfect ideal of that moment. This realization changed my life... and my marriage.

Why the hell should I sit here and tell myself that my husband doesn't love me because he doesn't live up to someone else's.... no... a billion someone else's perfect ideal?!?!? I married him because I thought he was MY perfect ideal. And I thought that about him when he was this way. Why does my ideal have to change to fit the world's?

That was the day I opened my eyes and saw.... he always takes my car and gives it an oil change when it needs it... and when he does that, he cleans it out and washes it and fills up the gas tank for me. If I say I'm hungry, he'll go fetch me something to eat with me even asking. When we're together, he always holds my hand. He always says that dinner was great and says thank you. He's always willing to stop whatever he's doing to help me. No matter what. He's a wonderful father. We're his first priority. Always. There's more, but I don't want to put you all to sleep. LOL

The point is, when I stopped letting the rest of the world tell me what I needed to have to be happy, and started asking myself, I found so much more happiness than I ever thought possible.
You don't have to be what other people expect you to be. You don't have to have what anyone else has. If you stop and ask yourself what it is that you really want in your life, and then open your eyes to seeing it, you can lead your authentic life. And when you lead your authentic life, the life that truly pleases your spirit, you'll be living in alignment with the Universe. In other words, be yourself. After all, that's exactly who you're SUPPOSED to be. You couldn't be more perfect being anyone else.

Happy Wednesday!
El